How I dealt with my anxiety
I spent 2 years suffering
Nobody understood what I was going through. “Pull yourself together, you have a good partner and beautiful children!” I knew that, of course I knew that but it didn’t make me feel any better. In fact, it made me worse, it put this great pressure on my shoulders that I shouldn’t be feeling like this, I did have it good!, why was I being so ungrateful?
I would try “pulling myself together” and take a walk to the local supermarket. I walked as fast as I could, head down not making any eye contact with anybody. Feeling as though everyone was staring at me, following me! I couldn’t even walk through the doors of the crowded supermarket, I felt sick and light headed. I just couldn’t do it.
My world had turned dark, like someone had switched off the light. I felt so different. I wasn’t suicidal but I did want to leave this Earth Plane. Just stick a pin in my life where it all is at the moment and disappear to a world of no responsibilities where I could just hide from everything and everyone.
Steps that made my anxiety more manageable
So what did I do to help feeling like this? I did 4 simple things over and over each day and they really helped with my anxiety.
- Before I got out of bed each morning I would write down all the things that I am grateful for and a happy memory. I kept this with me throughout the day as a reminder.
- Whenever I was anxious outside, I would look up to the sky and think how big the world is and that I am one person amongst this massive population, why would everyone be staring at little me? Then I would look down to the ground and tell myself to keep grounded and focus.
- I would take deep breaths in and blow out any anxious thoughts.
- Finally, the days when I just couldn’t do anything I did…nothing! I let myself have these days. I let the pressure go. If I wanted to stay in bed and feel sad even with my “good partner and beautiful children” then I was damn well entitled too.
A friend of mine posted this poem today and it couldn’t have been more fitting. For all of those suffering
For more information and to seek help or advice contact MIND.